Week 11 - November 6

Thoughts on Portfolio 2 - Why was this an A Portfolio?

Let's look at what an A paper is - Page 15 in the GB

Notes from the Portfolio Grading Group
Re: our papers:

Rhetorical Analysis:
Don't just throw out claims without support
Are you sure?  Look at counter claims in the larger issue.
What article?  Make sure you actually discuss it.
What is the summary of the article?
Make sure you are not misreading the situation
Do not misrepresent the situation, because you have only read the one article
Be careful of calling the reader ignorant
Make the connection between the writers and article more concrete.
Set up the situation for the article more.  Why was it written?  Was is persuasive?  Why does it have impact?  Does it deserve the impact it is getting?
Is the article effective at making the argument?
Is the argument even correct that this article is about?
Is the information in this article credible?
How do we determine what is actually credible?  (Being written by famous people isn't a good reason)
Who is the audience of this article?
Convinces who, how?  How does it reach people who don't agree?
Do we agree?  Should we?
Academic research could easily be included here on a more meaningful level.


Advocacy Campaign:
Why does this matter?  Coming off whiney and spoiled
Place in larger social context
What is the actual problem - expand it out from GVSU
Weigh the different options and other alternatives
Careless papers
Include more sources and much more analysis about the actual issue
Go beyond the shallow analysis of the problem.
Don't exaggerate the issues
Make a different case - don't play the it's not fair case without actual proof across the board.
Do larger problem/solution that uses GVSU as an example, but not the whole basis
Academic research could easily be included here on a more meaningful level.

Discourse Community Ethnography:
Lack of detail.  Actually talk more about the importance of your community on a large scale way.  Outside research
Don't use empty words that mean nothing - wonderful, amazing
Make it clear why you interviewed people and make sure that the questions you ask them lead to interesting insights.  Why does this matter?
Why does this community matter?  What do they do?  What contribution is made?
Show more details.
Proudest accomplishments?
Narrow down the actual community - focus more on something specific
Academic research could easily be included here on a more meaningful level.

Literacy Narrative:
Have more connection between the moment and you now
Let us see the pictures - expressions on faces, details in the moment
Dig deeper beyond the moment we see.
Take it to a more personal space - don't just tell us things we would know readily from our own experiences
Build the descriptive characters
Doesn't need to be chronological
Limit the focus
It doesn't need to be positive
Figure out what you can actually take from the moment, experience.  Why does the whole thing matter, now that you have some perspective.
But don't just wrap it up like an Aesop's moral - we can grasp without being clunked on the head
It's ok to actually acknowledge conflicting or confusing elements
You don't need to tell us everything
Careful of awkward shifts in time - a retrospective look could help with that
More description
More dialogue
Signs of characterization from the moment to present day?
Don't give up on the conclusions

General Comments:
What's the connection?  What's the purpose?
Where is this person coming from?
Need to use signal phrases
More is not better
Be focused
Sentence variety is nice.
Articulate your goal with the piece - to inform, persuade, educate, summarize?
Effective transitions
Clear pronouns
Don't be redundant
Avoid cliches
Pick one of the ideas you mention and really dig into that - create a strong and specific argument
Connect all points - reverse outline?
What are you going to say that is different, new, adding to any conversation?
Use url in the citations when article cannot easily be found
Have good strong sources
Place in larger social context
Do not over generalize
Slow down.  Plan the order a step at a time.  Break it all down and explain it out.
Body parts doing something - words caught in throat.
Do not be disjointed
Do not be bland.

3 Instructor Papers.
*Give one set to me.
*Pass the rest around to your peer group.  Make sure that everyone has a paper to read.
* As a peer, read each paper with a critical eye, keeping in mind the ideas that we just talked about.  What can truly and honestly be done to each paper to help this advance to a B or A?  Keep a sheet of paper handy to jot down ideas for your peer.  Spend at least 15 minutes on each paper.  Think critically and deeply about where this paper could go.  Keep in mind that it can be wildly different than the current form.

Looking Forward:
Monday, November 11
Look carefully over your papers, your peers comments and what we discussed in class.  Write a revision plan for each paper.  What will you do to create an A/B paper?  Be specific and detailed.  I will be collecting this.
Monday I will return your instructor drafts with my thoughts for revisions.